16 Nov How to not be stressed and miserable this Christmas
Discover the hidden reason why Christmas can be so challenging and how to make it better
In just a few weeks it’s Christmas again. How this year has flown right? For many, it’s a time of togetherness and joy—but it can also be a time of immense stress. The holidays can trigger old wounds, fuel tension, and create conflicts. For some, it’s the logistics of planning; for others, it’s a sense of loneliness or unmet expectations.
This season doesn’t have to feel this way. There are ways to make Christmas more meaningful, calmer, and even healing—whether you’re spending it with family or on your own.
When I was growing up, Christmas didn’t exist for us. We didn’t celebrate it because of the rules and restrictions of the religious cult I was born into. In my home, this season was no different from any other time of the year. I remember looking through the windows of people’s homes. I’d see the Christmas trees lit up, the cozy lights, the wrapped presents, and families coming together. It made me sad. I’d see this togetherness they had, and I didn’t understand why we couldn’t have the same. Of course, I was just a child, and I didn’t know back then that what I was seeing wasn’t always real—it wasn’t like the Disney movies that were on TV.
Later in life, I rejected the whole thing. Most of my previous partners didn’t mind, so we never really celebrated Christmas. Now and then, we would do something with the in-laws, but it was never a big deal, and we didn’t have children involved.
That changed when I met my husband, who has two children. He’s German, and in Germany, Christmas is a major celebration. Suddenly, I was confronted with the traditions, expectations, and customs that I knew nothing about. It was overwhelming, not just because I wanted to make it nice for everyone, but because something deeper was going on inside me.
Through my inner work with parts work, I realized that seeing my husband and his children celebrate Christmas was triggering a deep wound in me. It brought up the little girl inside me who had never experienced Christmas, who had felt left out and alone. Once I understood this, I decided to dedicate one Christmas to her—to my inner child. That year, I gave her everything she had missed out on. I got the biggest Christmas tree, decorated it with pink ornaments, and bought presents just for her. It was incredible to see how my subconscious responded. We had a beautiful Christmas together as a family, and for the first time, I felt at ease.
Now, I don’t feel the same resistance. My inner child feels seen, and I carry her with me in my heart. Acknowledging her has brought healing, and it has helped me approach Christmas without chaos. These parts of us—our inner children—are alive and active, and they can create so much turmoil if we ignore them. When we acknowledge and care for them, it changes everything.
If you would like to learn this for yourself, you can check out my self-paced online course on somatic healing, EMDR, and parts work here.
You can create your kind of Christmas
Holidays don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules or traditions. Whether you’re spending them with family or on your own, you can create a time that feels good for you.If you find the season overwhelming, here are a few ideas to make it more manageable and meaningful:
Plan: Start early with your preparations. Create a budget, plan your meals, and wrap gifts ahead of time. Doing this takes the pressure off and lets you enjoy the season without last-minute chaos.
Make time for yourself: Even on the busiest day, take moments to step away. A nice hot shower, a short meditation, or a quiet cup of tea with a book can help you reset and stay grounded, preventing your overwhelm from spilling over onto your loved ones.
Redefine Christmas if you’re alone: Being alone for the holidays doesn’t have to feel lonely. Use the time to create a cozy atmosphere for yourself. Light candles, read a nice book, binge on a Netflix series, or cook yourself a special meal. You can also invite friends who might be spending this time alone.
Use the quiet days to recharge: Once the celebrations are over, take time to reflect. You could do some journaling, enjoy reflective walks in nature, or quiet evenings, and allow yourself to slow down and simply be. It can also be a great time to reflect on the intentions for your year ahead.
The holidays are an opportunity
Christmas isn’t just about decorations and eating copious amounts of food. It can be a time to connect—not only with loved ones but also with yourself. It’s a chance to embrace moments of peace in a busy life. To support you in this season, I’ve created a guided meditation to help you return to yourself and a PDF with tips and reflections for the holidays. You can also take a moment this week to create your holiday checklist to make sure you have everything you need.
To support you in this season, I’ve created a guided meditation to help you return to yourself and an e-book with tips and reflections for the holidays.
Guided meditation for a peaceful Christmas with family
Guided meditation for a joyful solo Christmas
I hope they bring you comfort and inspiration as you move through this time.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect, but they can be meaningful. Start planning now, and create a season that brings you closer to the kind of experience you want to have.
I’d love to hear your thoughts—and I wish you a wonderful time this Christmas.